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  "identity": "D76FDAB0F9D31B265EDDBE77B6B516C844E71E93A720BEF5D892E6039BE4E38D",
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  "signing": "0FD6DB8BEA6901A6498D39723EE07661EC22C2A75A15138D5676888BC4ACC4DE",
  "encryption": "AAB9726E514D4788BF327E7E5D1E23DF19C00E8F2BAA537EA10EC1D524D84103",
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    "encrypted": "E203964EDE8DFF0544413E3AA13BC299E5134A612A06125CBF0B1F9FD2DE65CBCC1F49C613B79EA298475DBDD266BB4D95491F0D81083137FBBC9C150909748A019FCB56D2B276B3",
    "zone": "merch",
    "info": "The Master and Margarita, BOOK 1, ch 8\nby Mikhail Bulgakov, 1891-1940\nTranslated by:\nRichard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky",
    "records": [
      {
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        "domain": "maybe.merch",
        "data": "Chapter 8\nThe Combat between the Professor and the Poet.\n At the same time that consciousness left Styopa in Yalta, that is, around half\npast eleven in the morning, it returned to Ivan Nikolaevich Homeless, who woke\nup after a long and deep sleep. He spent some time pondering how it was that he\nhad wound up in an unfamiliar room with white walls, with an astonishing night\ntable made of some light metal, and with white blinds behind which one could\nsense the sun.\n Ivan shook his head, ascertained that it did not ache, and remembered that he\nwas in a clinic. This thought drew after it the remembrance of Berlioz\u2019s death, but\ntoday it did not provoke a strong shock in Ivan. Having had a good sleep, Ivan\nNikolaevich became calmer and began to think more clearly. After lying motionless\nfor some time in this most clean, soft and comfortable spring bed, Ivan noticed a\nbell button beside him. From a habit of touching things needlessly, Ivan pressed\nit. He expected the pressing of the button to be followed by some ringing or\nappearance, but something entirely different happened. A frosted glass cylinder\nwith the word \u2018Drink\u2019 on it lit up at the foot of Ivan\u2019s bed. After pausing for a while,\nthe cylinder began to rotate until the word \u2019Nurse\u2019 popped out. It goes without\nsaying that the clever cylinder amazed Ivan. The word \u2018Nurse\u2019 was replaced by the\nwords \u2019Call the Doctor.\u2018\n \u2018Hm\u2026\u2019 said Ivan, not knowing how to proceed further with this cylinder. But\nhere he happened to be lucky. Ivan pressed the button a second time at the word\n\u2018Attendant\u2019. The cylinder rang quietly in response, stopped, the light went out, and\na plump, sympathetic woman in a clean white coat came into the room and said to\nIvan:\n \u2018Good morning!\u2019\n Ivan did not reply, considering such a greeting inappropriate under the\ncircumstances. Indeed, they lock up a healthy man in a clinic, and pretend that\nthat is how it ought to be!\n The woman meanwhile, without losing her good-natured expression, brought\nthe blinds up with one push of a button, and sun flooded the room through a light\nand wide-meshed grille which reached right to the floor. Beyond the grille a\nbalcony came into view, beyond that the bank of a meandering river, and on its\nother bank a cheerful pine wood.\n \u2018Time for our bath,\u2019 the woman invited, and under her hands the inner wall\nparted, revealing behind it a bathroom and splendidly equipped toilet.\n Ivan, though he had resolved not to talk to the woman, could not help himself\nand, on seeing the water gush into the tub in a wide stream from the gleaming\nfaucet, said ironically:\n \u2018Looky there! Just like the Metropol!\u2026\u2019\n \u2018Oh, no,\u2019 the woman answered proudly, \u2018much better. There is no such\nequipment even anywhere abroad. Scientists and doctors come especially to study\nour clinic. We have foreign tourists every day.\u2019\n At the words \u2018foreign tourists\u2019, Ivan at once remembered yesterday\u2019s consultant.\nIvan darkened, looked sullen, and said:\n \u2018Foreign tourists\u2026 How you all adore foreign tourists! But among them,\nincidentally, you come across all sorts. I, for instance, met one yesterday quite\nsomething!\u2019\n And he almost started telling about Pontius Pilate, but restrained himself,\nrealizing that the woman had no use for these stories, that in any case she could\nnot help him.\n The washed Ivan Nikolaevich was straight away issued decidedly everything a\nman needs after a bath: an ironed shirt, drawers, socks. And not only that:\nopening the door of a cupboard, the woman pointed inside and asked:\n \u2018What would you like to put on\u2014a dressing gown or some nice pyjamas?\u2019\n Attached to his new dwelling by force, Ivan almost clasped his hands at the\nwoman\u2019s casualness and silently pointed his finger at the crimson flannel\npyjamas.\n After this, Ivan Nikolaevich was led down the empty and noiseless corridor and\nbrought to an examining room of huge dimensions. Ivan, having decided to take\nan ironic attitude towards everything to be found in this wondrously equipped\nbuilding, at once mentally christened this room the \u2018industrial kitchen\u2019.\n And with good reason. Here stood cabinets and glass cases with gleaming\nnickel-plated instruments. There were chairs of extraordinarily complex\nconstruction, some pot-bellied lamps with shiny shades, a myriad of phials,\nBunsen burners, electric cords and appliances quite unknown to anyone.\n In the examining room Ivan was taken over by three persons\u2014two women and a\nman\u2014all in white. First, they led Ivan to a comer, to a little table, with the obvious\npurpose of getting something or other out of him.\n Ivan began to ponder the situation. Three ways stood before him. The first was\nextremely tempting: to hurl himself at all these lamps and sophisticated little\nthings, make the devil\u2019s own wreck of them, and thereby express his protest at\nbeing detained for nothing. But today\u2019s Ivan already differed significantly from the\nIvan of yesterday, and this first way appeared dubious to him: for all he knew, the\nthought might get rooted in them that he was a violent madman. Therefore Ivan\nrejected the first way. There was a second: immediately to begin his account of the\nconsultant and Pontius Pilate. However, yesterday\u2019s experience showed that this\nstory either was not believed or was taken somehow perversely. Therefore Ivan\nrenounced this second way as well, deciding to choose the third way\u2014withdrawal\ninto proud silence.\n He did not succeed in realizing it fully, and had willy-nilly to answer, though\ncharily and glumly, a whole series of questions. Thus they got out of Ivan\ndecidedly everything about his past life, down to when and how he had fallen ill\nwith scarlet fever fifteen years ago. A whole page having been covered with writing\nabout Ivan, it was turned over, and the woman in white went on to questions\nabout Ivan\u2019s relatives. Some sort of humdrum started: who died when and why,\nand whether he drank or had venereal disease, and more of the same. In\nconclusion he was asked to tell about yesterday\u2019s events at the Patriarch\u2019s Ponds,\nbut they did not pester him too much, and were not surprised at the information\nabout Pontius Pilate.\n Here the woman yielded Ivan up to the man, who went to work on him\ndifferently and no longer asked any questions. He took the temperature of Ivan\u2019s\nbody, counted his pulse, looked in Ivan\u2019s eyes, directing some sort of lamp into\nthem. Then the second woman came to the man\u2019s assistance, and they pricked\nIvan in the back with something, but not painfully, drew some signs on the skin of\nhis chest with the handle of a little hammer, tapped his knees with the hammer,\nwhich made Ivan\u2019s legs jump, pricked his finger and took his blood, pricked him\ninside his bent elbow, put some rubber bracelets on his arms\u2026\n Ivan just smiled bitterly to himself and reflected on how stupidly and strangely\nit had all happened. Just think! He had wanted to warn them all of the danger\nthreatening from the unknown consultant, had intended to catch him, and all he\nhad achieved was to wind up in some mysterious room, telling all sorts of hogwash\nabout Uncle Fyodor, who had done some hard drinking in Vologda. Insufferably\nstupid!\n Finally Ivan was released. He was escorted back to his room, where he was\ngiven a cup of coffee, two soft-boiled eggs and white bread with butter. Having\neaten and drunk all that was offered him, Ivan decided to wait for whoever was\nchief of this institution, and from this chief to obtain both attention for himself\nand justice.\n And he did come, and very soon after Ivan\u2019s breakfast. Unexpectedly, the door of\nIvan\u2019s room opened, and in came a lot of people in white coats. At their head\nwalked a man of about forty-five, as carefully shaven as an actor, with pleasant\nbut quite piercing eyes and courteous manners. The whole retinue showed him\ntokens of attention and respect, and his entrance therefore came out very solemn.\n\u2018Like Pontius Pilate!\u2019 thought Ivan.\n Yes, this was unquestionably the chief. He sat down on a stool, while everyone\nelse remained standing.\n \u2018Doctor Stravinsky,\u2019 the seated man introduced himself to Ivan and gave him a\nfriendly look.\n \u2018Here, Alexander Nikolaevich,\u2019 someone with a trim beard said in a low voice,\nand handed the chief Ivan\u2019s chart, all covered with writing.\n \u2018They\u2019ve sewn up a whole case!\u2019 Ivan thought. And the chief ran through the\nchart with a practised eye, muttered \u2018Mm-hm, mm-hm ...\u2019, and exchanged a few\nphrases with those around him in a little-known language. \u2018And he speaks Latin\nlike Pilate,\u2019 Ivan thought sadly. Here one word made him jump; it was the word\n\u2018schizophrenia\u2019\u2014alas, already uttered yesterday by the cursed foreigner at the\nPatriarch\u2019s Ponds, and now repeated today by Professor Stravinsky. \u2019And he knew\nthat, too!\u2018 Ivan thought anxiously.\n The chief apparently made it a rule to agree with and rejoice over everything\nsaid to him by those around him, and to express this with the words \u2018Very nice,\nvery nice\u2026\u2019\n \u2018Very nice!\u2019 said Stravinsky, handing the chart back to someone, and he\naddressed Ivan:\n \u2018You are a poet?\u2019\n \u2018A poet,\u2019 Ivan replied glumly, and for the first time suddenly felt some\ninexplicable loathing for poetry, and his own verses, coming to mind at once,\nseemed to him for some reason distasteful.\n Wrinkling his face, he asked Stravinsky in turn:\n \u2018You are a professor?\u2019\n To this, Stravinsky, with obliging courtesy, inclined his head.\n \u2018And you\u2019re the chief here?\u2019 Ivan continued.\n Stravinsky nodded to this as well.\n \u2018I must speak with you,\u2019 Ivan Nikolaevich said meaningly.\n That is what I\u2019m here for,\u2018 returned Stravinsky.\n The thing is,\u2018 Ivan began, feeling his hour had come, \u2019that I\u2019ve been got up as a\nmadman, and nobody wants to listen to me!\u2026\u2018\n \u2018Oh, no, we shall hear you out with great attention,\u2019 Stravinsky said seriously\nand soothingly, \u2018and by no means allow you to be got up as a madman.\u2019\n \u2018Listen, then: yesterday evening I met a mysterious person at the Patriarch\u2019s\nPonds, maybe a foreigner, maybe not, who knew beforehand about Berlioz\u2019s death\nand has seen Pontius Pilate in person.\u2019\n The retinue listened to the poet silently and without stirring.\n \u2018Pilate? The Pilate who lived in the time of Jesus Christ?\u2019 Stravinsky asked,\nnarrowing his eyes at Ivan.\n The same.\u2018\n \u2018Aha,\u2019 said Stravinsky, \u2018and this Berlioz died under a tram-car?\u2019\n \u2018Precisely, he\u2019s the one who in my presence was killed by a tram-car yesterday\nat the Ponds, and this same mysterious citizen\u2026\u2019\n The acquaintance of Pontius Pilate?\u2018 asked Stravinsky, apparently distinguished\nby great mental alacrity.\n \u2018Precisely him,\u2019 Ivan confirmed, studying Stravinsky. \u2018Well, so he said\nbeforehand that Annushka had spilled the sunflower oil\u2026 And he slipped right on\nthat place! How do you like that?\u2019 Ivan inquired significantly, hoping to produce a\ngreat effect with his words.\n But the effect did not ensue, and Stravinsky quite simply asked the following\nquestion:\n \u2018And who is this Annushka?\u2019\n This question upset Ivan a little; his face twitched.\n \u2018Annushka is of absolutely no importance here,\u2019 he said nervously. \u2018Devil knows\nwho she is. Just some fool from Sadovaya. What\u2019s important is that he knew\nbeforehand, you see, beforehand, about the sunflower oil! Do you understand me?\u2019\n \u2018Perfectly,\u2019 Stravinsky replied seriously and, touching the poet\u2019s knee, added:\n\u2018Don\u2019t get excited, just continue.\u2019\n \u2018To continue,\u2019 said Ivan, trying to fall in with Stravinsky\u2019s tone, and knowing\nalready from bitter experience that only calm would help him, \u2018so, then, this\nhorrible type (and he\u2019s lying that he\u2019s a consultant) has some extraordinary power!\n\u2026 For instance, you chase after him and it\u2019s impossible to catch up with him\u2026\nAnd there\u2019s also a little pair with him\u2014good ones, too, but in their own way: some\nlong one in broken glasses and, besides him, a cat of incredible size who rides the\ntram all by himself. And besides,\u2019 interrupted by no one, Ivan went on talking with\never increasing ardour and conviction, \u2018he was personally on Pontius Pilate\u2019s\nbalcony, there\u2019s no doubt of it. So what is all this, eh? He must be arrested\nimmediately, otherwise he\u2019ll do untold harm.\u2019\n \u2018So you\u2019re trying to get him arrested? Have I understood you correctly?\u2019 asked\nStravinsky.\n \u2018He\u2019s intelligent,\u2019 thought Ivan. \u2018You\u2019ve got to admit, even among intellectuals\nyou come across some of rare intelligence, there\u2019s no denying it,\u2019 and he replied:\n \u2018Quite correctly! And how could I not be trying, just consider for yourself! And\nmeanwhile I\u2019ve been forcibly detained here, they poke lamps into my eyes, give me\nbaths, question me for some reason about my Uncle Fedya! \u2026 And he departed\nthis world long ago! I demand to be released immediately!\u2019\n \u2018Well, there, very nice, very nice!\u2019 Stravinsky responded. \u2018Now everything\u2019s clear.\nReally, what\u2019s the sense of keeping a healthy man in a clinic? Very well, sir, I\u2019ll\ncheck you out of here right now, if you tell me you\u2019re normal. Not prove, but\nmerely tell. So, then, are you normal?\u2019\n Here complete silence fell, and the fat woman who had taken care of Ivan in the\nmorning looked at the professor with awe. Ivan thought once again: \u2018Positively\nintelligent!\u2019\n The professor\u2019s offer pleased him very much, yet before replying he thought\nvery, very hard, wrinkling his forehead, and at last said firmly:\n \u2018I am normal.\u2019\n \u2018Well, how very nice,\u2019 Stravinsky exclaimed with relief, \u2018and if so, let\u2019s reason\nlogically. Let\u2019s take your day yesterday.\u2019 Here he turned and Ivan\u2019s chart was\nimmediately handed to him. \u2018In search of an unknown man who recommended\nhimself as an acquaintance of Pontius Pilate, you performed the following actions\nyesterday.\u2019 Here Stravinsky began holding up his long fingers, glancing now at the\nchart, now at Ivan. \u2018You hung a little icon on your chest. Did you?\u2019\n \u2018I did,\u2019 Ivan agreed sullenly.\n \u2018You fell off a fence and hurt your face. Right? Showed up in a restaurant\ncarrying a burning candle in your hand, in nothing but your underwear, and in\nthe restaurant you beat somebody. You were brought here-tied up. Having come\nhere, you called the police and asked them to send out machine-guns. Then you\nattempted to throw yourself out the window. Right? The question is: can one, by\nacting in such fashion, catch or arrest anyone? And if you\u2019re a normal man, you\nyourself will answer: by no means. You wish to leave here? Very well, sir. But\nallow me to ask, where are you going to go?\u2019\n To the police, of course,\u2018 Ivan replied, no longer so firmly, and somewhat at a\nloss under the professor\u2019s gaze.\n \u2018Straight from here?\u2019\n \u2018Mm-hm\u2026\u2019\n \u2018Without stopping at your place?\u2019 Stravinsky asked quickly.\n \u2018I have no time to stop anywhere! While I\u2019m stopping at places, he\u2019ll slip away!\u2019\n \u2018So. And what will you tell the police to start with?\u2019\n \u2018About Pontius Pilate,\u2019 Ivan Nikolaevich replied, and his eyes clouded with a\ngloomy mist.\n \u2018Well, how very nice!\u2019 the won-over Stravinsky exclaimed and, turning to the one\nwith the little beard, ordered: \u2018Fyodor Vassilyevich, please check Citizen Homeless\nout for town. But don\u2019t put anyone in his room or change the linen. In two hours,\nCitizen Homeless will be back here. So, then,\u2019 he turned to the poet, \u2018I won\u2019t wish\nyou success, because I don\u2019t believe one iota in that success. See you soon!\u2019 He\nstood up, and his retinue stirred.\n \u2018On what grounds will I be back here?\u2019 Ivan asked anxiously.\n Stravinsky was as if waiting for this question, immediately sat down, and began\nto speak:\n \u2018On the grounds that as soon as you show up at the police station in your\ndrawers and tell them you\u2019ve seen a man who knew Pontius Pilate personally,\nyou\u2019ll instantly be brought here, and you\u2019ll find yourself again in this very same\nroom.\u2019\n \u2018What have drawers got to do with it?\u2019 Ivan asked, gazing around in\nbewilderment.\n \u2018It\u2019s mainly Pontius Pilate. But the drawers, too. Because we\u2019ll take the clinic\nunderwear from you and give you back your clothes. And you were delivered here\nin your drawers. And yet you were by no means going to stop at your place,\nthough I dropped you a hint. Then comes Pilate \u2026 and that\u2019s it.\u2019\n Here something strange happened with Ivan Nikolaevich. His will seemed to\ncrack, and he felt himself weak, in need of advice.\n \u2018What am I to do, then?\u2019 he asked, timidly this time.\n \u2018Well, how very nice!\u2019 Stravinsky replied. \u2018A most reasonable question. Now I am\ngoing to tell you what actually happened to you. Yesterday someone frightened you\nbadly and upset you with a story about Pontius Pilate and other things. And so\nyou, a very nervous and high-strung man, started going around the city, telling\nabout Pontius Pilate. It\u2019s quite natural that you\u2019re taken for a madman. Your\nsalvation now lies in just one thing - complete peace. And you absolutely must\nremain here.\u2019\n \u2018But he has to be caught!\u2019 Ivan exclaimed, imploringly now.\n \u2018Very good, sir, but why should you go running around yourself? Explain all\nyour suspicions and accusations against this man on paper. Nothing could be\nsimpler than to send your declaration to the proper quarters, and if, as you think,\nwe are dealing with a criminal, it will be clarified very quickly. But only on one\ncondition: don\u2019t strain your head, and try to think less about Pontius Pilate.\nPeople say all kinds of things! One mustn\u2019t believe everything.\u2019\n \u2018Understood!\u2019 Ivan declared resolutely. \u2018I ask to be given pen and paper.\u2019\n \u2018Give him paper and a short pencil,\u2019 Stravinsky ordered the fat woman, and to\nIvan he said: \u2018But I don\u2019t advise you to write today.\u2019\n \u2018No, no, today, today without fail!\u2019 Ivan cried out in alarm.\n \u2018Well, all right. Only don\u2019t strain your head. If it doesn\u2019t come out today, it will\ntomorrow.\u2019\n \u2018Hell escape.\u2019\n \u2018Oh, no,\u2019 Stravinsky objected confidently, \u2018he won\u2019t escape anywhere, I\nguarantee that. And remember that here with us you\u2019ll be helped in all possible\nways, and without us nothing will come of it. Do you hear me?\u2019 Stravinsky\nsuddenly asked meaningly and took Ivan Nikolaevich by both hands. Holding them\nin his own, he repeated for a long time, his eyes fixed on Ivan\u2019s: \u2018You\u2019ll be helped\nhere \u2026 do you hear me? \u2026 You\u2019ll be helped here \u2026 you\u2019ll get relief \u2026 it\u2019s quiet\nhere, all peaceful \u2026 you\u2019ll be helped here\u2026\u2019\n Ivan Nikolaevich unexpectedly yawned, and the expression on his face softened.\n \u2018Yes, yes,\u2019 he said quietly.\n \u2018Well, how very nice!\u2019 Stravinsky concluded the conversation in his usual way\nand stood up: \u2018Goodbye!\u2019 He shook Ivan\u2019s hand and, on his way out, turned to the\none with the little beard and said: \u2018Yes, and try oxygen \u2026 and baths.\u2019\n A few moments later there was no Stravinsky or his retinue before Ivan. Beyond\nthe window grille, in the noonday sun, the joyful and springtime pine wood stood\nbeautiful on the other bank and, closer by, the river sparkled. \n",
        "ttl": 3600
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